The best damn sleep you’ll ever have

image‘What is this…’ I hear you ask snidely in your best Derek Zoolander voice, ‘…the Home Shopping Network??’

Ugh I know that as a 20-something college girl I should probably be doing product reviews of party drugs or hibiscus-based cocktails or those crackling OPI nailpolishes that everyone adores (am I the only one who thinks they give the appearance of fungal nail infection?) but today I’m sticking with my Homemaker MO.

I actually don’t enjoy being in bed that much. I’ve never been one to loll about in the morning because as soon as I’m awake I’m thinking, ‘Breakfast! Coffee! Stat!’. My routine involves springing out of bed, pretending to be either Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels (the booty dance in front of the UPS-man scene) or Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone (the aftershave scene), doffing my hat to the Quaker Oats man and getting on with the day. But regardless of how many hours of shuteye or reclining openeye you get, a comfortable bed is an absolute necessity. Lumbago sounds like a bit of a drag, tbh.

My college bed is BRUTAL…pretty much a bodybag of springs. The first few nights it was like lying on the outer rim of a budget trampoline. When I expressed my fear of ending up all crooked, my Mum suggested yoga, but heaven forbid I should have to use my Lululemon gear for anything but coffee runs and looking perky. (I know I know, yoga is amazing. I just have an aversion to picturing my sit-bones as a cello or my pelvis as a bowl of woodland dew, and worrying about farting or getting stuck in pigeon pose, ok?)

This Dreamtime Memory Foam mattress topper (also available on Amazon for like a quarter of the price) solved all my woes. It’s like sleeping on a thick layer of cream cheese frosting. I bet if the Princess of Hans Christian Anderson fame had slept on this, you could fill her bed with millions of peas and she’d be none the wiser.

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