Tupacman…Woodchuck Bass…Miss Piggy Azalea…
Halloween in Australia is pretty much a non-event. As a youngster, inspired by American movies and hopes of candy-comas, you might venture out to trick-or-treat. It’ll be total tumbleweed town though; the few kids you see will be wearing the exact same raggedy witch costume as you (the only one that Woolies stocks), and neighbours are more likely to switch off their lights and cower behind the couch than open the door to you. Those that do either (a) assume that Jehovah’s Witnesses have changed their marketing strategy (b) launch into a tirade about door-to-door Encyclopaedia sales being illegal after 6pm or (c) ferret around the back of their pantry for anything resembling candy. You are more likely to get tinned peaches, aniseed balls, breath mints or ChocoLax than sweets.
When you’re in high school and college, your Halloween party costumes are invariably scanty. They neither require nor leave anything to the imagination.
Now that I’m in the UK (I know it’s no US, but at least supermarkets here have been pushing their pumpkin paraphernalia for the last few weeks) I’m hoping to whip out one of the costume ideas I’ve had percolating. Feel free to appropriate:
TuPacman: if you want All Eyez on You, don the fried-egg yellow bubble suit of our favourite dot-muncher. Add tatts, bling and a bandana. Bonus points for rapping in a shrill waka-waka-waka voice.
Woodchuck Bass: whiskers and velvet…it’s a winsome combination. As George Clooney is to Fantastic Mr Fox, so is Ed Westwick to a furry whistle-pig.
Miss Piggy Azalea: half-pig, half-human, whole diva. Clovenly strut your stuff in an explosion of spangles and spandex.
This is not to write off the ‘sexy’ Halloween costume. I think a sexy Dwight Shrute (cropped mustard shirt, or maybe just a beet-stained undershirt!) could be cool. Or a sexy aubergine.