That Rowing Smugness #boatgloat

30Oct6
I’m officially a ‘Rower’ y’all! I have done exactly 1 water session, but bought all the merch so there’s no turning back. From what I hear, it’s a small step from wide-eyed, skittery novice excitement to smug-faced insufferability. Be prepared for me to wax lyrical about erg times, ‘casually’ mention my 5.30am starts in a holier-than-thou martyr voice, and just become Better at Life (I might even become a double threat and launch a social-networking lawsuit/start hoarding the world’s digital money).

But for now, I’ll just get excited about my splash jacket. Cute, right??

30Oct1

Apologies for the blurry snap. I took it approximately 3 secs before running out the door, assessing that I had about 3 mins to get to the boat house which is a 10 min moderate amble from my flat, realising that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, spending 10 secs assessing my mouth furriness (judged an unacceptable 7 on a scale of pearly to mossy terrarium), dashing up the stairs to do a quick scrub ‘n’ swill, hurtling back down the stairs, and running through the fields and 1 lukewarm cow pat. I probably could have taken another photo, but I saw this little guy and thought that Squrrl trumps Girl:

30Oct4

Also not a great shot, I admit. I think I was off-kilter trying to scrape the dung off my shoe. But isn’t his tail just squee-inducing? Wouldn’t it make a fantastic bronzer powder brush?

Anyway, back to my jacket (hey, what can I say? Superficial narcissism is my MO). I know it’s waterproof because I did the test where you lick the fabric and suck on it/breathe through it like a Dementor (for instore purchases, try to be surreptitious). I also know it tastes like a microwaved Chinese takeaway container. Mmm…BPA. The pocket is perfect for stashing my phone, to be whipped out at a moment’s notice to take Insty snaps on the water. I did this the other day and copped abuse from the cox, which may have have been due to my destabilising the whole boat and causing a caterpillar effect of oars slamming into everyone’s chests. But I got an awesome shot of river geese. The jacket also has a nice mudguard buttflap, which means I can wear leggings and thickly-elasticised smalls and not worry about visible monkey-bread bum. Most importantly, it’s emblazoned with my college crest and ‘Boat Club’ – visible proof that I’m in the cult now!

2 thoughts on “That Rowing Smugness #boatgloat

  1. Pingback: More merch, more purch | Elodie does Oxford

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