In addition to a Lonely Hearts Club Bop (fingers crossed it’s less Beatles, more Marina & The Diamonds) and a Rose Delivery Service that will probably make most people feel more Gretchen Wieners than Glen Coco, college is ensuring that we are all painfully aware of Cupid’s Birthday with a Blind Date exchange with another college.
I actually don’t think it’s the worst idea in the world. Blind dates aren’t inherently awful, though the few that I’ve been on have lacked any frisson (partly because blind dates forego the anticipation element; partly because the guys I went out with were dull as hermit crabs).
But I won’t be signing up for this college event, for a few reasons:
Another day, another bop (yep, I still feel daft calling it that; like I should be wearing underoos and lindy-hopping). Wanting to do gory makeup and combat the high wind chill factor (ie. no scantily-claddedness for us!), my friends and I went dressed as zombie schoolgirls.
I do actually have friends, I promise. I’m just a bit clueless on the etiquette of posting photos of them on a public blog. Perhaps a notecard to Emily Post is in order…
Ah, Noughth Week. As my academic advisor (a cardigan-clad, stocking-footed woman with a surprisingly saucy sensibility) said to me the other day, “It’s mating season for the deer and students alike!”
New faces + surreal environment + events every night = most people trying to get some.
I’m awful at flirting. I have like 3 stunted eyelashes that mascara won’t deign to cling to so I’ve never been able to do the coquettish eye bat. And I’m tall – not tall enough to be statuesque, or thin enough to be willowy – but with long enough limbs to not really know how to hold myself (think ossified Gumby). Also, I’m just generally socially awkward. Watching me try to flirt is like watching a bear stumbling about with its paw caught in a honeypot and a swarm of angry bees attacking its face.
Point being, I would never judge someone for being a Bad Flirt. And I really try not to judge people for lacking social competence. But I also strongly feel that there is a BASIC SOCIAL CODE that just needs to be adhered to. Here are my suggestions (based on very real encounters this week): Continue reading