In my eyes, the whole dating game is a bit like doing the Hokey Pokey. Ultimately, you just want to meet someone who makes you think ‘That’s what it’s all about!’ (whoa, the Hokey Pokeyyy, whoa, the Hokey Pokeyyy…). But until that point, you go through the motions of the dating dance. At times it’s good fun, even exhilarating; at times it’s exhausting. And at other times you’d rather lop off a limb that participate in any more rounds of this bizarre social ritual.
Obviously how you perceive a date or a romantic gesture depends on whether you like the person. If someone you like remembers your favourite song (which you mentioned in passing 6 months earlier) it’s sweet. If someone you don’t like tries to serenade you with this song, it’s creepy. The adorable/deplorable line is pretty much subjective.
That said, there are certain things you can do to set a date up for success:
Ah, Noughth Week. As my academic advisor (a cardigan-clad, stocking-footed woman with a surprisingly saucy sensibility) said to me the other day, “It’s mating season for the deer and students alike!”
New faces + surreal environment + events every night = most people trying to get some.
I’m awful at flirting. I have like 3 stunted eyelashes that mascara won’t deign to cling to so I’ve never been able to do the coquettish eye bat. And I’m tall – not tall enough to be statuesque, or thin enough to be willowy – but with long enough limbs to not really know how to hold myself (think ossified Gumby). Also, I’m just generally socially awkward. Watching me try to flirt is like watching a bear stumbling about with its paw caught in a honeypot and a swarm of angry bees attacking its face.
Point being, I would never judge someone for being a Bad Flirt. And I really try not to judge people for lacking social competence. But I also strongly feel that there is a BASIC SOCIAL CODE that just needs to be adhered to. Here are my suggestions (based on very real encounters this week): Continue reading