Flirting Fails

9Oct2014

Ah, Noughth Week. As my academic advisor (a cardigan-clad, stocking-footed woman with a surprisingly saucy sensibility) said to me the other day, “It’s mating season for the deer and students alike!”

New faces + surreal environment + events every night = most people trying to get some.

I’m awful at flirting. I have like 3 stunted eyelashes that mascara won’t deign to cling to so I’ve never been able to do the coquettish eye bat. And I’m tall – not tall enough to be statuesque, or thin enough to be willowy – but with long enough limbs to not really know how to hold myself (think ossified Gumby). Also, I’m just generally socially awkward. Watching me try to flirt is like watching a bear stumbling about with its paw caught in a honeypot and a swarm of angry bees attacking its face.

Point being, I would never judge someone for being a Bad Flirt. And I really try not to judge people for lacking social competence. But I also strongly feel that there is a BASIC SOCIAL CODE that just needs to be adhered to. Here are my suggestions (based on very real encounters this week): Continue reading