So I just fell asleep in the shower…the steam was so soporific that I felt like I was in one of those Eastern European train compartments getting sleep-gassed by thieves. When I came to, I conditioned my hair like 3 times on autopilot. Not the first time it’s happened; my locks are slowly transitioning from sleek to oil-slicked penguin.
‘What is this…’ I hear you ask snidely in your best Derek Zoolander voice, ‘…the Home Shopping Network??’
Ugh I know that as a 20-something college girl I should probably be doing product reviews of party drugs or hibiscus-based cocktails or those crackling OPI nailpolishes that everyone adores (am I the only one who thinks they give the appearance of fungal nail infection?) but today I’m sticking with my Homemaker MO.
I actually don’t enjoy being in bed that much. I’ve never been one to loll about in the morning because as soon as I’m awake I’m thinking, ‘Breakfast! Coffee! Stat!’. My routine involves springing out of bed, pretending to be either Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels (the booty dance in front of the UPS-man scene) or Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone (the aftershave scene), doffing my hat to the Quaker Oats man and getting on with the day. Continue reading