So I realise that my last few posts have all been in the ‘What I’ve Bought’ vein. At the risk of falling into the cornfed Warholian territory of Haul Vloggers (although they must be doing something right. Apparently Zoella’s “Home ‘Stuff’ Haul” video, in which she fascinatingly reveals that she is “quite selective with drinking glasses” has over 1.6 million views and 20,000 comments…) here’s a necklace I recently bought from Anthropologie:
Buying statement jewellery is my attempt to ameliorate my black clothes affliction. As an accursedly monochromatic dresser who is constantly offered condolences (apparently I look like I’m going to a funeral) or asked where to find nude pantyhose (apparently I look like a David Jones salesgirl), I’m always looking for ways to inject pops of colour into my outfits. Without like, actually wearing colour.
I was drawn to this décolletage duster because it looks like it’s made of candy gumdrops and teeth. It’s a dentist’s worst nightmare in jewellery form, which is pretty awesome.
When I first visited the UK 3 years ago I stumbled upon this cute little shop called Jack Wills. Tweed blazers, cosy knits, a logo of a pheasant with a top hat and a walking stick (which is even classier than Mr. Peanut and his monocle)…their tagline was spot on; it was ‘Fabulously British’! Over the next week I kept happening upon this Jack Wills, and soon realised that it was not some wee 7th generation-run boutique, but a transnational megabrand. With no products actually made in Britain.
When I mentioned it to my friend Tori who studied in Scotland, her face scrunched up like I’d just offered her a blueberry (her avowed enemy. Not even blueberry muffins pass her muster). Apparently she and her friends would never actually shop there – it’s basically the British Abercrombie & Fitch (they even have ‘Seasonnaires’ which are their version of the infamous A&F model). But, said Tori, “I kind of get how you would like it”. This wasn’t meant as an insult; Tori knows that I’m a sucker for branded stuff – with every teen birthday present she enabled my Emily the Strange and Paul Frank addictions. She also knows how enamoured I am of cute things (if it’s pink, patterned, emblazoned with critters or redolent of Sloane life, I’m sold). Jack Wills totally fits my bill – it has the British prep feel without the moss/dung-heavy colour palette of Barbour, the youthful whimsy of Anthropologie (seriously, mittens and snoods with names like Austwick and Wilbur? Adorbs), and is mid-range price-wise.
Here are my picks of their current collection:
The Bleakley dress £89.50
So I was rereading one of my favourite fashion blogs Daddy Likey the other day (as I’m wont to do when nostalgia for the noughties hits; ah those halcyon Internet days when adult services advertising was less in your face, and Neopets was a thing!) and had a sudden flashback to the outfits I used to wear as an undergrad.
Perhaps the most heinous was the Karen Walker cream seersucker dress, which I styled with pink tights, pink scarf and a matching raspberry beret (thanks a bunch Prince – worst fashion advice ever!). Or the Alannah Hill romper made of parachute material that squeaked in protest when I walked. To add insult to nylon camel-toe injury, I’d occasionally layer it over a white Kookai singlet that had taffeta shoulder bits that looked like Libra nightpad wings.
My wardrobe is much more function and inoffensive now. It consists of: